Abundance mentality.

This is one of the biggest secrets to finding and keeping a good life partner. It  not only boils down to what you do, but how you think.

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Here's what happened.

Some time ago, in my 30's I spent nearly 2 years single.  I used to wake up in the morning, leave my expensive house, get into my sports car and drive to my successful engineering business. After work, I went to the health club on my way home, exercised, played squash etc. Often women looked my way and were friendly towards me.  Yet I never dated for months on end.

What's wrong with this picture?

 I had left a painful relationship, where I had been rejected by my partner  daily. So I  believed, that no-one would ever love me again, because I was  not worth it.  This belief came true in my life.

I just didn't think that there was someone out there, interested in me. This of course made it right.

Was it because I was unattractive? Hardly, I had a good build, clear skin, was fit and healthy, and even though I didn't look like Richard Gere, I certainly wasn't ugly.

Was it because I was financially insecure? No, I owned  a good business, drove a fancy car and lived in a big house with a view.

So there was nothing physically, causing my problem. It was all in my mind.

Hey, it gets worse. After some counseling and reading lots of books,  I actually got  to go and take some action to  meet some new people. Then when  I did find someone, guess how that worked out.

You see, deep down, I still had that limiting attitude, that I was really fortunate to get anyone at all that wanted to be with me. They sensed it like  sharks smelling blood in the water. Describing it as that I partnered up with a predator, would have been an understatement.

The person I attracted, was a gold digger, having no scruples about sleeping with whoever she felt like. Was it her fault, yes BUT it was more my fault. I realized that  I allowed it to happen in my mind first. I believed that this was the best I could achieve and had to accept that behavior to actually have anyone in my life at all.

Eventually the boundaries of even my twisted logic broke, when she came back after being with another man, drunk and tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.

How could I allow it to get that far? Easy, I didn't understand that  I had choices. When I realized that even being alone again was better than my present situation, I did get out of that relationship.

Cutting a long story short, the whole issue was me having the wrong belief system.

It took some time, but eventually, I accepted that I was actually OK, and a lot of women could do far worse than to be in a relationship with me.  I now also understood, that there were actually many thousands of potential partners for me.

As soon as I started believing this, it was as though some flood gates had opened. I kept running into potential partners at every turn, and I was off the singles scene very quickly.

All I did  differently was that I had now accepted that there is actually a complete abundance in our universe. An abundance of suitable people. It was my choice, to accept or reject this fact. That  made the difference. Now my physical actions could lead me to my true desires.

My external surroundings had not changed much, Physically I was the same  (except getting a bit older, and not much wiser), but my life had  turned 180 degrees. Because I allowed it to. I let my mind accept that anything is possible, and nothing could stand in the way of a strong enough belief.

But, only severe pain brought about this realization.

You can avoid the pain. Understand the above, you have many choices now. They will let you do things in more positive ways. Realize, that  life will end up teaching you either way, let it be a pleasant instead of painful lesson.

In conclusion, imagine it, believe it, and see what happens.

Remember, keep on loving

Top 10 Relationship Tips

This article is about relationships and how to make them last. Both parties should work at a relationship. I hope you find my most recent article about relationships both interesting and helpful.

What's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that  hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1.   Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together. 

2.   You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3.   Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4.   Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5.   Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6.   Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behavior. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7.   Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the

bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8.   Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance

between the two.

9.   Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10.   Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turn a bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared

to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.